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J to the Motherfuckin Ill
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[05 May 2006|01:38am] |
well darby's tonight was certainly way more fun than toucan's.
fishbowls ruleeeee.
i'm a weeee ebit drunk rught now.
and i've discovered something.
friendships i thought were solid are now not as solid as they once were. but i've discovered that, contrary to what i've thought, i don't need them to carry on. if you don't feel the need to say hi to me when you har me coming, then fine, that's your loss, because i was willing to be a great friencd to you.
whateverrrr, that's fine.
i'm tired. time for sleep.
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[04 Apr 2006|01:04am] |
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music |
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"You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth" - Meat Loaf |
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It really amazes me sometimes how desperate people are, especially how desperate for attention they are. And it stuns me how willingly people just throw away any dignity they have out of desperation. I mean, I'm not saying that I don't like attention, but there's a difference between liking it and needing it like a drug. I see how some people around me act out of desperation for attention, for love, for material items, willing to do anything for whatever it is, and I think to myself, "well...how about that." And in some cases, it's quite pathetic. But the entire human race in general is pathetic, a fact that disgusts me quite often, actually.
Well, after that nice little rant, let's talk about how stomach viruses suck. I was stuck inside 209 the entire weekend because I had one. I'm still recovering.
I just finished reading "Blade Runner" by Philip K. Dick, and I must say, it was quite good. If you think you're too good to read it, you're wrong, because it really has nothing to do with science fiction or futuristic space action, as one may think. You all should read it, because it's a fantastic piece of literature, even though the ending will probably send you into a slight mode of depression.
Let's also talk about how I'm about to have an ulcer about housing for next year. I'm not even going to get into that.
Journalism majors rule. I can't really explain how I came to this conclusion, but you can bet it is an indisputable conclusion at that.
O-Town just played randomly on my iTunes. That made me ridiculously happy.
Ah, life has been good. Let's hope it keeps traveling in this vein.
PS - I just discovered that Harrison Ford plays the main character in the movie version of Blade Runner that we will be watching in class soon, and this makes me happy, because the movie was made in 1982, and Harrison Ford was so so SO incredibly hot back then.
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[19 Mar 2006|12:09am] |
I have come to the conclusion, after visiting LA for a week, that I will live there someday.
It was quite awesome, even though the temperature barely reached 65 while we were out there. Mais, c'est la vie.
Went to the La Brea tar pits, the Walk of Fame, the Max Factor building, Kodak Theatre, Farmer's Market, tour of movie stars' homes, Universal Studios, CityWalk, Santa Monica Pier, etc.
Ate tons of good food while I had the oppurtunity.
Hope everyone else's spring break was good, and everyone who's just starting spring break - have a great time!
And for those of you who don't have spring break...well that just sucks, now don't it.
Back to marist tomorrow, after being home for merely a day.
I should get a haircut soon.
I'm dreading the dining hall.
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[29 Jan 2006|06:12pm] |
my first two weeks back at marist have been swell.
every day i am taken aback by the amount of love i have for the midrise dorm. i really am so glad that i live here and not in gartland.
i really should probably start getting my act together as far as my education and future goes. everyone seems to be on their way to doing great things, while i'm just sitting around, going to happy hour and doing nonsensical things. oh well. i have the rest of my life to be grown up.
drinking games are fun, especially kings and asshole.
i have also come to realize that this year those i considered best friends last year are more like strangers to me now. and i can't even remember the last time we really hung out and had a decent conversation, which is extremely sad.
i also feel like my college years are flying by. i only have 2.5 years left. eeep.
the guys in campus deli now know me and tati on a personal basis, considering they have started calling her "produce," after she tried to order a tuna sandwich with ketchup and "all the vegetables you have."
i think it's a good thing that psych is my minor, because maybe it will help me understand the thought process people have when acting towards their fellow human beings. because honestly, i do not understand how people can treat people they're supposedly friends with like shit. granted, i am a complete asshole to a good portion of my friends, but they all know that it's out of love, and that i would do anything for them.
this year, while turning out to be a fantastic one, is also turning out to be one that is pissing me off immensely.
oh well.
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| best bedtime story ever |
[06 Jan 2006|01:18am] |
Waaaasy: ok so there once was this girl named amanda
Waaaasy: and she was 5 years old, and she was very lonely because she didn't have any brothers and sisters and she lived in a house in the woods far away from other people
Waaaasy: this is all true by the way
MsFendrBendr: alright
Waaaasy: so she tried to make friends with her mother, but her mother didn't know how to play nice... for example, amanda would build houses with her wooden blocks because she wanted to be an archetect at the time (she later abandoned that dream once she realized she hated math)
Waaaasy: she was so proud and she would call her mom into the room to look at her building
Waaaasy: and then her mom would knock down the building and laugh and laugh and laugh and amanda would cry and cry and cry
Waaaasy: her mother later said she was trying to get amanda to build it higher, conjuring up some metaphor about life, but she's just plain old crazy
Waaaasy: ANYWAAAAAY
Waaaasy: amanda decided that she needed to make up her own friends
Waaaasy: friends that didn't knock her buildings down
Waaaasy: enter the imaginary friend... named, for some reason "lucky duck"
Waaaasy: one day, amanda was having a race with lucky duck from her bedroom into the hall... she was running toward the "finish line" when she turned around to taunt Lucky Duck for being so slow
Waaaasy: then she smashed into the wall and knocked herself unconcious
Waaaasy: she woke up in the backseat of the car on the way to the hospital
Waaaasy: with her head in her mother's lap, an ice pack on her forehead
Waaaasy: she still has a scar on her head from the big race, and after she returned home from the emergency room, her mother informed her that she had a big "goose egg" on her head
Waaaasy: "that's funny," amanda thought to herself. "Lucky's not a goose, he's a duck"
Waaaasy: THE END
Thank you, Amanda, for putting me in a fantastic mood when I was previously in a not so good one.
And now, sleep.
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| For those of you that haven't heard this story already... |
[03 Jan 2006|10:53pm] |
I would just like to share a little adventure I had today with everyone.
I went to the gynocologist today, and they asked me for a urine sample. So I went into the bathroom and peed in a cup, filling the cup half way. I place the cup on the sink, and wash my hands. I proceed to pick up the cup, lose my hold on said cup, and end up spilling pretty much the entire cup of urine all over my pants.
Yeah, how many of you has that happened to?
Thought so.
So when you think your life sucks, think of me in my pee-covered pants.
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[28 Dec 2005|03:14pm] |
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So, for those of you who don't know, let me fill you all in on what has recently happened in my life.
Monday, the day after Christmas, was quite exciting for me.
I woke up, slightly hungover from drinking wine the night before, and was playing video games in my sister's room. She was sitting next to me and we were both laughing.
That is the last thing I remember.
Apparently my eyes rolled into the back of my head, I started shaking violently, and then fell off the bed, hitting the radiator, which left some red burn marks on my neck. I also bit my tongue quite hard and was apparently drooling. In case you couldn't figure it out, I was having a seizure, a big one, which I have never had before.
The next thing I know, my mother is shaking me while saying "jill, come on, we have to go" and I am surrounded by 6 firemen and 2 EMTs, who had put an oxygen mask on me. The EMTs then put me in an ambulance, inserted one of those oxygen tubes into my nose, put an IV in my arm, turned on the sirens, and rushed me and my mom to the ER.
I then proceeded to the ER on a stretcher and was in the hospital for a total of 6 hours, in nothing but boxer shorts and a T-shirt, getting tests done, getting blood drawn, getting a catscan, all this great stuff. They decided to raise the dosage of my medication.
The doctors said I would feel really tired and very hangover-ish for a few days, and believe me, I do.
Oh, and did I mention I'm not allowed to drive for 3 months, according to DMV laws?
And my mother is now checking up on me every five seconds.
Basically, I have reverted to being 15.
Wonderful.
I hope everyone else is having a better Christmas break than I am.
And I'm not looking for sympathy, in fact I really don't need it or want it, I just wanted you all to know what has been going on in my life.
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| Re: Freeman, Douchebag |
[22 Dec 2005|01:26am] |
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This, ladies and gents, is the bane of my existence.
I hate this man with a passion.
All he talks about is himself, he makes what should be a great class boring as shit.
He also gave me a C on a debate I was supposed to get an A on for not having a reference page. HE NEVER TOLD US IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A RESEARCH PAPER, ASSHOLE.
So he said if i add references to my debate, he'll raise my final grade from a B- to a B.
So fine. I get back from our exam period, I do the references, I give the paper to Kim to give to him during her exam, and I email him a copy.
Today I check my grades. Only two were up.
Journalism: B+
Comm. In Society: B-
In a fit of rage, I emailed him and civily explained the situation and why he needed to change my grade. This is the email I get back:
"I will be out of the office starting 12/20/2005 and will not return until
01/17/2006.
Have a good break. See you in the new year. Research, research. I'm in a
remote asian village without technology!"
OH GOOD. SO YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GIVE ME THE GRADE I DESERVE, YOU DICK.
I hope the wild asians kill him.
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[21 Dec 2005|12:35am] |
Woah, nip/tuck. Woah. You and your ever-twisting plot lines. How I will survive months without new episodes, I do not know.
My dentist, who is from Romania, can we say VAMPIRE, informed me that I have a (maybe 2) cavity(ies). They are going to be filled in January. Thanks Santa.
Eye appt. tomorrow at 5:30. So they can tell me that my eyes are getting worse. Hurrah.
Hung out with my Kate today. We had some sickass conversations about tattoos and piercings and all that good stuff, turns out she knows and has been partying with Throwdown as of late, who would've thought. I'm glad we're closer now than we were in previous years.
I should probably do my Christmas shopping at some point. Hmm.
As much as I love being home, I do miss some of my Marist folk.
Ready set break.
Oh yeah, and fuck you Jack Nicholson, I love you, but who throws a dog down a trash chute? Come on.
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[16 Dec 2005|08:41pm] |
Today is JR's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JR!
And after that last embarassing LJ entry (thanks to everyone who responded, it made me feel a lot better), here's a somewhat positive one.
After having a crazy night with my bestests tati and kim, involving tupperware bowls, $61 worth of Coco's with em & 409, ashtrays, and sticking things places, I said goodbye to Marist and traversed home.
I fell asleep pretty much as soon as i got home, because i was exhausted.
After some conversations yesterday and today with some of my good friends, I have realized a few things.
I have realized that sometimes I wish I was a guy, because they don't have to put up with the drama, the exclusiveness, and the lameness that is in the life of a girl.
I also realized, as I was smoking a cigarette outside mirise last night before i found the huge metal ashtray, that i am extremely glad that i came to marist. and i'm even more glad that i live in midrise because i've met so many great people that i didn't know last year, and they're the reason this year is better than last year. i also came to the conclusion that friends who i thought i knew last year have either changed this year or i really didn't know them as well as i thought. Some of those changes, or things I have learned, have been good, because it made me realize how good those people really are and how much i like them. Some of those changes, or things I've learned, have been very bad, because it forces me to see sides i don't like of people i do like.
And as much as I love living in midrise, i think the thing i miss most about last year is living in champagnat and being able to call either jess or JR in the middle of the night to come outside and have a cigarette in the nook.
wow, so many thoughts.
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[16 Dec 2005|12:10am] |
Okay, i hate feeling like i'm an outcast just because i've never had sex before. i don't find it to be a big deal, and i hate when people bring it up in front of people i don't know, it's my own business, not anyone else's. and i feel really upset when people make me feel uncomfortable because i'm not as cool as everyone else because apparently having sex makes you awesome. thanks but i'll do it when a guy i know/trust wants to bang me, thanks for being assholes all of you for making me feel about 2 inches tall just beause i haven't had sex before granted i'm drunk right now and i'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than it really is, but there's no reason for people to go around telling people i haven't had sex before, what's the big fucking deal, and stop making me feel really awkward and uncomfortable just because i haven't banged as many people as you have.
okay thanks bye in the morning i wil proabbaly regret this entry, but i hate feeling like i'm being fucking put under a microscope just because i'm still a virgin. so fuck you, if you find it weird, don't be my friend, because i dont want friends that pity me and treat me differently because i haven't had sex before.
wow this was a quite pathetic entry
whatever.
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| Ah life... |
[23 Nov 2005|01:15am] |
Today was really hectic.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.
I'm so stoned.
Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.
I want to tell the world to get fucked.
I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
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[14 Nov 2005|01:04am] |
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"Rollin" - Limp Bizkit, yeah that's right |
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approximately half of 209 is sick.
sweet.
and my car is in the car hospital.
wonderful.
hey thanksgiving break, can you get here a little sooner? thanks.
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[10 Nov 2005|05:03pm] |
I'm not happy.
I swear, I have the worst and weirdest mood swings sometimes.
But yes.
I don't like the fact that I've drifted apart from people I once considered close friends. I feel like now when I see them or talk to them, it's like I don't even know them and they've forgotten that we were ever friends. And this makes me sad.
Marist, I hate you for separating me from a good chunk of my friends that I had last year, so that now I barely see and talk to them.
Good job, Housing. Good job.
And some of the people I used to adore are now the people I care barely tolerate.
I feel like since this year began, I'm seeing people in a whole new light, and trust me, that's not always a good thing.
Sometimes this year rules, and sometimes it blows royally.
Oh, and I hate people who are so fake and have their head shoved up someone's ass so far they can't even see what they're actually doing. People need to learn that they can't be someone else, they can't be like someone else, you are who you are, realize that, and stop annoying me.
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[08 Nov 2005|12:19am] |
I need to stop letting people take advantage of me.
In addition to this:
People need to get over themselves and fast. Stop thinking that what you do with your life is so incredibly important to me, because let me tell you, it's not. At all. I have a ton of shit going on in my life that I need to deal with, and frankly, I don't have time for your highschool bullshit. Grow the fuck up and act like an adult. Right now, I could honestly care less about you and the decisions you make. I tried to help, or at least tried to show that I cared, but that went nowhere and I just got shit for it. So now you're on your own, and don't come crying to me when everything blows up in your face. Oh, and stop being so dumb and self-centered. It's irritating.
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[04 Nov 2005|12:21am] |
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I'm kind of just a little sick of people.
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[03 Nov 2005|02:35am] |
After reading Amanda's livejournal and after her telling me that I should write an obituary for my academic career, I have learned that my life is completely worthless.
But it's okay, since Jess and Marie just paid me $2 a piece for one cigarette each.
And since I love the people that surround me here at Marist. Even Amanda.
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[30 Oct 2005|03:26am] |
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I think a lesson has be learned today by many:
No one will ever be as good of a friend to you as you are to them. If they are, then count yourself extremely lucky.
Oh, and people are fucked up in so many more ways than one.
I wish I was trashed like everyone else.
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[23 Oct 2005|02:37am] |
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Back to Marist tomorrow.
I thought I'd be more excited than this.
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born_to_jill's journal
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